“We want to move out of the family, we want more space” – when my brother told this to me yesterday, for a moment, it came as a shock to me. We are Indians, by culture, we live in joint families. When we grew up and getting to be married, both myself and my brother wanted to live together in a joint family.
Yes, there were differences in view points, differences in the way we wanted to live our life but there were also advantages – sharing joy and sorrow together, looking how our children grow together, care and share for each other. All those shattered by that statement.
After initial internal sad state, angry state and all, once I was able to think rationally, some of the thoughts that came to me
- how is that when we were small, we were dependent on one another but as soon as we have our own family, we think we should move?
- why we do not think that while there can be internal different view points, a common goal of joint family does not bind us always?
- in earlier times, people loved to stay in joint families, though the same issues existed then. How different are we now and what caused those differences?
While I have realized that once a decision is done, all I can do is respect it, I am not sure if this is the way we should lead our life. I may be old thinking person but I always root for a joint family.
Today morning, I heard this song of Sudeep (not sure which movie it is) “Yenadaru Aagali, Munde saagu nee, bayasidella sigadu balali”